May’n this year has been hella on G’ status, every decision I have made has led me into some pretty interesting situations, or blessings in disguise. From jump, me starting my New Year off in Haiti soaking up all that EXTRA melinated magic. Saying ‘yes’ to myself, my passion, love, and art, led me to achieving goals that I didn’t even realize I had, and discovering hidden talents along the way.
I have learned about my graphic arts skills and I’m having so much fun working within that medium. It’s so forgiving and keeps a long or short memory, in my saying ‘yes’ I am confidently expressing my self in ways that have given voice to the long forgotten spaces in my throat.
I am grateful for the ups and downs, and the spaces creAted in my energy, which, gave way to more room and freedom to be my freakiest and wackiest of selves. To the family and bonds that have an eternal home in the four chambers of my heart.
And to having the courage to release good for great, that great being me, of course. This year, I have learned to stay put, let go, and take everything in stride. And you know what? I’m all the more powerful. Beautiful.
This past Fall I presented a workshop on grieving and self love at Harriet’s Apothecary, what prompted the topic was being fresh on the precipice of a break up. It was the single blade of grass that sparked the entire field ablaze, at the beginning of my healing phase I wrote about this being an initiation to my next phase of understanding. For that it surely was, here is my journal entry.
As I am traversing through heartache this morning, I felt reminded of pain and grief as a mark of being initiated into the next phase of understanding. Spiritually, as I caress my heart with gentle and loving gestures, i.e., preparing great home cooked meals, healing sun teas, surrounding myself with community, and volunteering. I feel more nourished and loved, because I’m feeding my self acts of kindness.
Mentally, I have been transcending previous judgmental thoughts, like, “what is wrong with me” into more nurturing thoughts that limit the feeling of judgment, by removing the concept of being bad, wrong, etc.
I realize that I can be going through the grieving process with a whole and nurturing perspective or a hard and resistant lens. I learned a long time ago that fat meat greasy, meaning, I learned the hard way of grieving and now I choose to experience grief using energy that will uplift me versus drag me down.
I mentioned initiation earlier and for me it took the passing of my mother and brother and other cherished family members, a divorce, and several break ups; to begin to understand that embracing and loving me in the hardest times, pays off in a radiant cycle of self love.