This past Fall I presented a workshop on grieving and self love at Harriet’s Apothecary, what prompted the topic was being fresh on the precipice of a break up. It was the single blade of grass that sparked the entire field ablaze, at the beginning of my healing phase I wrote about this being an initiation to my next phase of understanding. For that it surely was, here is my journal entry.

As I am traversing through heartache this morning, I felt reminded of pain and grief as a mark of being initiated into the next phase of understanding. Spiritually, as I caress my heart with gentle and loving gestures, i.e., preparing great home cooked meals, healing sun teas, surrounding myself with community, and volunteering. I feel more nourished and loved, because I’m feeding my self acts of kindness.

Mentally, I have been transcending previous judgmental thoughts, like, “what is wrong with me” into more nurturing thoughts that limit the feeling of judgment, by removing the concept of being bad, wrong, etc.

I realize that I can be going through the grieving process with a whole and nurturing perspective or a hard and resistant lens. I learned a long time ago that fat meat greasy, meaning, I learned the hard way of grieving and now I choose to experience grief using energy that will uplift me versus drag me down.

I mentioned initiation earlier and for me it took the passing of my mother and brother and other cherished family members, a divorce, and several break ups; to begin to understand that embracing and loving me in the hardest times, pays off in a radiant cycle of self love.